You Already Know

Have you ever asked three different people for advice, weighed every possible option, made a list of pros and cons, and still found yourself wondering what to do? I have... many times.

Sometimes we look for answers everywhere except the one place we haven't thought to look: within ourselves. We ask friends what they'd do. We search Google or Chat GPT for information. We look for signs that we're making the right decision, and want reassurance that we're not gonna make a mistake, disappoint someone, or end up wishing we'd chosen differently.

While there's value in gathering information and listening to people we trust, when we keep looking outside ourselves for the right answer, we stop listening to what we already know.

The quiet voice beneath the noise

Self-trust isn't loud or dramatic. It doesn't arrive as a flash of inspiration or a feeling of certainty. It's the quietest voice in your head. Often it's just a subtle feeling that something doesn't fit.

It can be a feeling of relief when you finally admit what you've been avoiding to acknowledge. It's that little spark of excitement when an opportunity feels right. It's recognizing that you're tired and need to rest, even when your to-do list has unchecked boxes. Sometimes it's noticing that you've been saying yes because you don't want to disappoint someone, when you really need to say no.

These subtle moments are easy to dismiss, but they're worth listening to because they offer valuable information about yourself.

Why trusting yourself can feel so difficult

Most of us have spent years learning how to fit in, meet expectations, and make decisions that keep life running smoothly. We learn to be responsible and consider other people's needs. We learn to think things through and make sensible choices. Those are valuable skills that keep us feeling 'safe.'

But along the way, we've learned to override ourselves. We ignore our own preferences because someone else might disagree. We stay in situations longer than we want to because changing course feels uncomfortable. We explain away our feelings because we think we ought to know better.

Over time, it becomes harder to distinguish what we really want from what we've become accustomed to doing. And when we finally reach a crossroads, we may find ourselves asking everyone else what we should do because we've lost confidence in our own ability to decide.

The good news is that self-trust isn't something you either have or don't have - it's something you can practise.

Start with the small things

You don't have to make a life-changing decision to begin trusting yourself. Start by noticing the little things. When someone asks you to do something, pause before automatically agreeing with their suggestion. When you feel tired, notice whether it's rest you need, or if you're overriding something that matters to you. When an opportunity comes along, pay attention to your first response before your mind begins building a list of reasons for and against it. And when you make a decision, give yourself a chance to experience the outcome without immediately questioning whether or not you should have chosen differently.

You won't always get it right. None of us do. Self-trust isn't about being right every time. It's about knowing that you can listen to yourself, make the best decision you can with what you know, learn from the experience, and adjust when necessary. With practise, you can trust yourself to change your mind. You can trust yourself to learn. You can trust yourself to find your way forward, even when the path isn't entirely clear.

Your inner compass is worth listening to

This is at the heart of what I call the Trust Yourself pathway in The Debra Jones Path. Understanding yourself and trusting what you discover is self-mastery.

You might know that you need more time for yourself, yet still feel guilty when you take it. You might recognize that a chapter of your life has run its course, yet hesitate to explore what comes next. You might understand your natural strengths and preferences, yet continue making choices based on what other people expect of you, or what you expect of yourself, based on past experience.

Trusting yourself means beginning to close that gap between what you know and how you live. It means learning to recognize your inner guidance and giving it a place in your decisions. It means understanding that you can listen to others, seek support, and consider different perspectives without handing over the responsibility for your life. You're allowed to receive guidance without surrendering your own judgment.

A question to carry with you

Over the next few days, notice how often you ask yourself, What should I do? When you catch yourself asking that question, try pausing and asking something different: What do I already know about this?

Don't force an answer to make an immediate decision. Just create a little space to listen.

Perhaps you already know you're ready for a change. Perhaps you know you need more rest. Perhaps you know it's time to have that conversation you've been putting off. Or perhaps it's time to give yourself permission to do something differently.

While giving yourself the space to listen, you might discover that you really don't know yet, and that you need more time or information. That's valuable to know, too. The aim isn't to replace every outside opinion with an unquestioned inner feeling. It's to include yourself in the conversation because your life is shaped by the decisions you make, the boundaries you honour, the opportunities you pursue, and the things you choose to let go of.

You deserve to have a voice in all of it. It's YOUR life after all! And when you do, you may discover that the more you practise listening to yourself, the more confident you become in finding your way.

You already know more than you think. Give yourself a little quiet space to hear it.

Warmly,

Debra Jones

The Debra Jones Path

Know Yourself. Trust Yourself. Be Yourself.